Maist Haunted Live in Bo'ness

Ah wis oaf ma work the day due wi kidney trouble and decided ti go fur a wee walk doon ti the Crookies. As ah wis makn ma way back a popped inty the auld Cairidin Churchyaird, the scene of a legendary ghost hunting expedition in the early eichties when scientific meesurements wur tain bi famous paranormal investigator Dr. C. Reid, including the angle i the Angel heidstane in relation ti the sun setting ower G-pans.

Anyweys a took a foaty i the auld damp patch it the Church entrance, whaur the miraculous image i Christ wis ti first appear ti us, later ti reappear some 30 years later oan the erse i Lorne's dug.

Anyweys, ti cut a long stoary shoart, the foaty didny appear ti show anyhing, bit when a processed it it hame here's whit wis revealed.

Kin embdy else see the face i auld Aggy thit hud the chip shoap across fi the Snooker Centre?

Horror Story

Lads - spare a wee thoat this Halloween fur the pair wean wha hud his twa Jack-o-lanterns nicked bi cruel guisers doon it the Mairchlands.
Polis are oan the look oot fur the ringleader - a deid munchkin lookalike wi an amputated, stovie-covered hand in his mooth.
Contact Bo'ness Polis wi any information.

Finally Able to Work the Dashboard

Yes, after many trials and e-mails between myself and Carrier (MSc), I am able to post something....hmm...now what do I want to make a post on...eh...any suggestions?

Nuhin bit Diet Coke n Mentos

Happy Halloween

fi the Hampton Court Ghost, thit, despite hailn fi aboot the mid-16th century, kens how ti shut a fire door properly.

Show her u care

Non-vasectomised BOOBs! Be gid ti the WAGS.
Useful Free Online Pregnancy Test here.
Simple.

Rare Hollywood Memorabilia Offer

Bid fur ur very ain bit i film history oan ebay.

UPDATE 31/10/06: The Wizard of Oz Tin Man's pubes have now been sellt. Some desperate baistarts oot thair.

Creepy Tales

Lit's git in the mood fur Halloween wi a cautionary tale.

Pretentious Fower Een-ed Twat Evokes Teenage Transition Derisory Mantra

Jist heard aboot the hing above wi the erse-like name of Gok Wan wh is appairently some kind i fashion guru ti the celebs.

Of course us BOOBs ken his brithir better, Scabby Gok Wan, stylist ti the God Squad back in the eichties.

Disney Gang Bang

That Minnie Mouse is a real dirty bitch, she''ll take it fae ivrybody.

UPDATE: Disneyland Paris even filthier - Donald Duck v. Christina Aguilera

Coupon Buster

The DoubleDs ur already practisin fur the rematch. Watch Doug collapse in laffter at Gav's misfortune.

Sare Bollards

Doon in Manchester they've installed electronic bollards ti stoap drivers drivin inty bus lanes.
This still disny staop some folk trying ti sneak thru he he!

Make yir ain Halloween Decorations

Wi the price i tumchies gaun thru the roof due ti excessive hoosebuildn oan Pow's fields, thrifty readers kin make thir ain spooky Halloween Decorations yasein bits n bobs lying aroond the hoose, or in WAGs' purses, by foalyin the instructions here.
Simple.

Cizzins Reunited

Nevets's excellent research on Binnz'z alter-ego (see comments here) has also enabled me ti track doon ma faithir's sister's dochter, ma cizzin Elanor fi Oz (pictured above) oan the same site.
See here.
Goat the faimily looks tae.

Totally Bouf Halloween Outfits

We've seen the best Bo'ness hus ti offer, whit aboot the worst halloween outfit yiv seen? This yin takes the biscuit.
Embdy any mair?

Damn pet hair!!!

Just the sight of wee Biz Bell reminded me of a story he telt me aboot his allergy tae Guinea Pigs, his hair awe faws oot it the very smell i the wee critters, nae jokin Guinea baldness. Anybody goat onymare stories i funny allergies?

PvD Live @ the Dougie Park Dance Valley 2005

Punk's No Deid in Kinneil Bar

Ah bumpd inty Bo'ness punk legend and former classmate Wee Niffy it Queen Street Station on Settirday. He wis telln me aboot Bo'ness's thriving punk scene and a forthcoming appearance bi this jamtastic band it the Legion oan 18th November. Aw the wey up fi Sudbury tae.

Also oan the bill is The Conviction n ithirs tba.

Git yirsels doon thair fur a riotous mushy tea-fuelled nicht i anarchy n gobbins!

Intershitty Express

Commuters fi Bo'ness ti Embra!
Watch whaur yir sittn oan the train.

Bo'ness Standards Maintaint

Gid ti see thit, despite the influx of ING's millions inty the toon, n the upgrdn i the Toon Centre, the gid shoapkeepers i Bo'ness ken how ti entice thir breed n butter customers, like the new off licence cried "Bargain Booze".

Halloween Pairty pics fae the Double 0 bar.

Wee Biz n Mrs Biz boogie oan doon under the watchful eye of Martin O'Neil. Alfie M in a familiar pose, tryin tae git intae wee Jills purse.
The Italian wi his fellow italians strike a pose, flanked by big Kev and wee Biz proppin up the bar fir a wee chinge.

A wee bit peckish afore the pairty, ave aye said yi canny bait a bit haund tae pit a linin oan yir stomach.

Ride A Virgin

Seen this bit i fun in Perth. Virgin takin folk fir a ride.

Ye wur stoapped fur cairrying whit?

Behold the oriental Lords of  the Logistic!

The mirror yin's a classic.

A'll hae a vowel please carol.

This wis Des O' Connors first trial is the new countdown presenter, personally a hink it wis a fix cos that's no awe yin word.

Bedroom Secrets of the Masterchef

A wis jist readin in the auld current bun yistirday aboot some billionaire yank pittin his elbi richt through his beloved Picasso pic thit he pairted wi £74.3 million fir, it first a thoat whit a fanny bit then a hid a look it the pic in awe a kin see is a porn cartoon wi sum burd ready tae receive a sticky eye while playin wi hirsel, dis oanybidy else see this or i me jist that depraved am seein stuff in works i art?

Whither Spoon?

Onybiddy ken why Snab Brae is so called? There wiz a Snab Pit, as well. Ah mind a story ma guid brither telling me. He's fi oot the toon. He's on a date with my sis, cinema in Falkirk, late 70s, the bus route was straight along past the Pit, no up to Richmond Cross, like noo. Bein the gentleman, he's payin the fares, he asks my sister where to get tickets to. She says, the foot of the Snab. He disnae believe such a place exists, thinks she's ripping the mick, an asks for 2 tickets tae the bus station, haein to pay an extra 20p an no haein enough to get his busfare hame, hus tae ask fur a lift tae Lithgi. Served him right.
It very much dis exist tho, as the Greek taxi driver yince telt me an JippyD that he couldny drop us oaf at Maidenpark because of inclement weather conditions. "no posseebo, Snabawsno" he repeated, aw the way fi Coasters. Anyway, ah digress, whit wiz a Snab? Wiz there a Castle at the top i a hill that geed its name tae Castleloan? Who slayed the mythical beast, the Cumlouden, at the end i the Calder Park?

Halloween

Next Generation. Young Chambers gittin sortit Fir halloween. Wonder if the findlays will hae treacle toast oan the washin line.

Craig Oliver

Ya Dirty Bar Steward. Having pit bits as fitba bits is jist no oan. Keep yir pocket money fi yer wife fir a couple i weeks and buy yirself decent bits.

Welcome ti new visitors!

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A big welcome ti new visitors ti the BOOB fi hame n abroad. The above slide show lits ye ken whit yuv missed - whaur huv ye been min?
Feel free ti browse the aulder stuff doon thair oan the right haun side. We welcome yir comments, sometimes they are the funnier thin the posts.
This site is written in the tongue i Bo'ness, if ye dinny ken whit wur oan aboot lit us ken.

Like a bairn's airm

His Ys fitted him like a glove tae.

DDs Double Dumped

BOOBS TRIUMPH IN FIRST CYBER CHALLENGE

The must anticipated first cyberspace challenge fitba gemme ended in victory for the Boys of Old Bo'ness up it the Centre tonight.

The six-man, gout-riddlit BOOBs, average age 42, defeated a much fitter workman-like DD team by the odd goal in eleevin through sheer guts n determination, n a well-marshalled back 5 led bi Tricky adopting a Cattenachio-type defensive system similar to that favoured by Walter Smith's Scotland in the Ukraine last night.

Although rarely troubled the Broon-o lived up ti his usual "safest hands in Pow's Tumchie Field" reputation despite scoffin a generous bowl i mrs Broon's hame-made ham bone soup meenits afore the gemme. In the ootfield sterling work bi the indefatigable Italian oan the flank tigithir wi the trickery and verve i MOM Markybhoy, n the sheer power i Wee GC wi his tree-trunk legs honed thru years i chasing eftir semi-pros n sending thum aff, kept the BOOBs in the gemme.

Eftir an even 60 minutes the classic Bo'ness rules of "nixt goal the winner" were applied and although DDs came close, the winning goal, a Thierry Henry-like banana bullet wi the ootside i his goalden bits fi "The Maister" (who wis cairryin a bad ankle injury btw) wis a fitting ending ti a close fought highly entertaining clash.

Aw jokin aside, the gemme could huv went either wey - thanks fur a great gemme DDs n let's dae it again sometime ay?

Teams:

The Boys of Old Bo'ness
Broon, The Italian, Tricky, Markybhoy, Wee GC, Carrier

Double Ds
Gav, Dougie, Deeko, Oly, Dek C, Wullie Murray

PS - sorry aboot the nae foaties - photographer nivir turnt up, awa fur a dirty weekend up it his faither's cottage.

UPDATE: Double Ds version i events here.

Superleague

The prize at the end i the season.

Comp

How the guid folk in ayrshire enjoy watchin thir fitba.

Domino Double-take

Saw this article n thoat it wis aboot English Steve fi Bo'ness at first.
(Spotter: Ketal)

Brokeback Spirit in Double's Training Camp

The journal WebCam catches the DoubleDs in training, near Kinneil Wids. Doogs his togged the girls up in American fitba gear, in case they fa er a twig or brek a nail in their preparashun for the game the morn.
Meanwhile, rumours abound of an attempt to poach Futin fur some half time work on thur taes, and wee sair feet. Dinny dae it Fut, money izny everyhing

Mair Fancy Dress ideas fi aroond the world

N:47
North Korea

Classic Stav Kebab

Top ten Stav.
Wine tasting fkn hilarious.

"Do Me Up"

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Heids Up: Be careful the nixt time she asks ye the above question.

You are the wind beneath my sheets

Cheers boays fur yir kind sentiments - ah jist funt oot at the weekend, scraped a pass. Ye ken me, ah dinny like ti brag aboot being brainy as faq. 4 years i hard slog it an end.
Gynaecology's a fkn hard subject ye ken!
Nae need fur whisky Yan jist git yirsel thru here fur a nicht oot.
Will arrange sumhing soon, ay?

Noo fur the serious bit.

Aw jokin aside, ah couldny huv done it withoot yir help. Ah set this blog up as a wee side project ti keep me sane during ma studies.
During the low times of non-parametric variable analysis, ah've clicked oan the BOOB n hud tears i laffter runnin doon ma cheeks. Kennin thit maist i the stories wur TRUE tae!

So, is well is the obvious nods ti Wee Gill, ma braw dochter n ma Maw n Paw, ah'd like ti dedicate ma success ti ma gid pals - yeese ken who yeese are, the famous BOOB, n absent freends anaw.

Wha's like us, ay?

Hud a few drinks the nicht. Um fkn chokin up here min.

The Rider Rocks!!!!

New updated trailer fir the dugs baws film i nixt year, check it oot.View X Large Trailer.

Competition Time

Any member of the BOOBS visited this place. Any guesses.

Bo'ness/Arniston Legend

Efter pickin the ba oot the net fir the sixth time goal keeper Gav catches up oan sleep.

Budget Halloween

Make yir ain ghostly Fog Machine oot i a bucket, auld washer/dryer tubes n some ice oot i Tescos.

BOOB Exclusive: Watch 'The Hamster's' Dragster Crash

Jist found footage i The Hamsters Dragster Crash Video oanline.
Warning: Not for the squeamish, or folk fi Lithgi.

Champagne Supernova

GOAL!! Git in thair!


The Star in Lithgi explodes wi cheers n sprayed watterd doon lager.


BOOB stalwart Stu McF (foregroond, nae hair) disny ken whithir ti laff or greet is Celtic's Gary Caldwell, the son i famous Bo'ness United Junior Cup winning Legend Tam Caldwell, fires the Scots ti victory against the French.


High fives aw roond eftir the gemme fi Christy, Lee Robbo, Stevie Scoatland n WAGs.

Generous Laundry Offer

Ah received the above foaty by email the day fi a migrant Polish worker noo residing in Bo'ness who is enjoyn readn aboot the exploits i the BOOB, in turn helping her maister the Bo'ness dialect.

Looks like she's oafferin a gid bilewash eftir the fitba.

Battle of Slag Hill - The Movie

Check oot the trailer fur the new film based oan the legendary swedge involvin 299 Bo'nessians n a dug, nicknamed "the Spartans", against a thoosint Weegie scab ootsiders airmed wi illegally importit pit prop spears. The ensuing battle resulted in the Weegians sustaining 50 serious and 200 minor injuries before being sent hame ti think again.

"Before the battle wis ower, the world wid ken thit few stood against miny"

Witness The Three Hunner

Bo'ness United Legend

Gavin Kirkwood ex Bo'ness united keeper is having a testimonial match at Linlithgow on sunday with a 1pm kick off. Bo'ness/Arniston players v Scott Nisbet(Rangers auld Boys). Smoker efterwards.

Casino LaFabrique

New 007 trailer here

Game Oan II

Ah've booked an ootside park fur Thursday 12th October @ 21:00, fur the game against the DoubleD upstarts. Expecting the same 5 that were set ti play last time - Broon, Carrier, Italian, Tricky and Snowman. Please confirm.
The picture above is tae remind ye that there are facilities at the centre tae hing up yer jaikets.

Dirty Foaty

Took this foaty i the sun the ithir day but ruined it wi dust oan the lens.

Utterly Pintless

Dae folk oan the web hink we've goat nuhin better ti dae thin sit and play they infuriatin pint n click games aw day when there's work ti be done?

Anywey, see if u kin beat 35 meenits ti feenish this yin.