Fair E'en Fever

The moarn's the Fair, n we'll be there.
B4 that - mibbe see u aroond the airches.
Hav a gid yin fi the BOOB.

(Foreign visitors - the 'Fair E'en' is the evening before the Bo'ness Fair Day when local townsfolk put on thir second best outfit of the summer (the best outfit, known as the 'Fair Klaze' is already washed, pressed (ironed), hanging up ready for tomorrow) and walk around the town viewing what are known as the 'airches'. These are a collection of temporary structures and house frontages made by locals wi money ti burn to celebrate their children participating in the actual Fair itself. Indeed, the 'airch' decorated town of Bo'ness was the inspiration for the film Brigadoon. Later excited weans will be given cally-coads by thir Faithers, resulting in loose change fawing oot i trooser poakits and rolling doon a gundy, whereupon cries of "Scoor-oot" will be heard).