Golf Terms

For use by Carrier etc oot on the course. But no Lorne. He disnae get invited:

An Adolf Hitler - taking two shots in a bunker
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O.J. Simpson - somehow got away with it
A Condom - safe but didn't feel real good
An elephant's arsehole - it's high; and it stinks
A sister-in-law - I'm up there, but I know that I shouldn't be
A Sally Gunell - it's not beautiful but it's still running
A Kate Moss - thinned it
A Diego Maradonna - nasty five footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A ladyboy - Looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems
Putting like a gynaecologist's assistant - shaving the hole
Does your husband play? - for when a man hits a short tee shot
A Cuban - needs one more revolution
An Elton - a big bender that lips the rim
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
A Marylin Monroe - a fair crack up the middle
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A Tony Blair - too much spin
A Bin Laden - driven out and never to be found again
A Jamie Oliver - you really want to smack it but you can't