There's a girl works doon the chip shoap sweers she's Greegor

Ah wis in Corvi's the nicht n ah couldny help thinkn thit yin i the lassies behind the counter wis the double i Greegs, n in fact could be his sister.
Ah wis tempted ti ask if her faithir wis evir the prospective Labour cooncillor fur the Grange Ward, bit a held the tongue in ma heid is she looked up and uttert they immortal words,
"Ye wantin yir picklt ingins wrappt seprit?"
Sadly, ah dinny hae a foaty ti back up ma story, bit the nixt time yir in Bertie's fur a broon fish supper hae a look.