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5 comments:
Carrier, is this pish based on the supposed defeat i a force of raiding Visigoths by a Spartan phalanx following the disaster that befell the Roman Imperial Army at the Battle of Adrianople in the 4th century? As well is focussin oan the basic, froogul lifestyle needs uv yer Spartan sodjer, will it also mention their allegit 'bowling fi the pavillion end' cause i thur military training beginnin at a young age?
Ur perhaps it wull pit emfasis oan the Bay-seck-shul relationships whit were common place among Spartan wimmen an how it was oftin considered acceptable for marrit Spartan women to hae affairs with unmarried younger burds? Thoatsy.
Mair worryingly, wimmen were an independent lot in Sparta an were able to negotiate with thur better halves tae take thur male lovers into thur ain hames! Accordin tae Plutarch in his work Life of Lycurgus, men baith allowed an encouraged thur wives tae "bear the children of ither men, cause i the general communal ethos which made it more important to bear many progeny for the good of the city, than to be jealously concerned with one's own family unit." Ahem. Sorry.
Onywey this micht jist huv been fur aulder guys who hudny produced an heir yet. Jaffas ur Fanny-Baws, if ye like. Fur this reason, Plutarch, at the bar i the Anchor Taverna yin night, claimed that the concept of "adultery" wiz alien tae the Spartans, and relates that yin (clearly bonkers) auld Spartan had said that it was as possible to find a bull with a neck long enough to stand on a mountain top and drink from a river below, as it wiz tae find an adulterer in Sparta. Some similes dinny bare close examination, ah ken.
So, if any i yoos wi nae wains, huv only lassies, ur huv a deid whippet fur a middle stump think aboot takin thur wives ur burds tae see this, ye huv been warned.
Ah kent that night school course oan Ancient Greek history at Falkirk Tech wid come in handy yin day.
A few gid points weel made, bit yir lecturer must huv went ti the Academy.
The Battle i Thermoplylae wis focht in 480BC, when an alliance i Greek city-states fought the invading Persian army in yin i the maist famous last staunds in history. A wee force i 300 led by King Leonidas of Sparta bloacked the only road through whit the massive airmy i Xerxes I could pass.
Some twa millennia later oan this pagga wid be reenacted oan the slopes i Slag Hill when, in May 1935, 300 Bo'nessians wid send Weegie Blecklegs hame ti think again.
Thermopylae? Bo'ness? The message i the film is the same -
"Go tell the Boarastins, stranger passing by, that here, obedient to their laws, we lie".
Ah'm no sure whit school the lecturer went tae, but he didny yase texts bi Frank Miller, the same guy whit wrote epic historical sagas like Batman Returns and Sin City. Nuthin wrong wi them, taken fur whit they are, but my point wiz, there are better stories in truth (Slag Hill fur example) thin the Hollywoodisashun uv the same tales.
Still, the Spartans are in baith stories, so thur'll still be some bird on bird action, ah reckon. Good old Hollywood, ah say.
Sorry Lorne. Carrier, kin you delete my brief history of the Spartans and replace it wi, "Looks magic min, hunners i fightin an burds an that" please.
Anybiddy seen 'London to Brighton' yet?
Yeah I've seen it.
"This is the Night Mail crossing the border,
Bringing the cheque and the postal order,
Letters for the rich, letters for the poor,
The shop at the corner and the girl next door..."
Classic.
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