Monday, April 23, 2007

Latest News: Council Told - "Bats Out of Order"

A family of migrant worker Bats who recently moved inty Grangepans have hit out at Falkirk Council for trying ti forcibly remove them to accomodate folk on the local Housing Department's waiting list.
The Strelles, a family of 30, from Transylvania, recently moved into the loft apartment of a house at Links Place, Grangepans, the Bronx. The mother, Pippa, who is heavily pregnant and expecting quads for the second time this year is disgusted with the way her family are being singled out by the Council. "It's a disgrace", said Mrs. Strelle, who's husband Vlad is currently employed removing rotten fruit and Blueboatils from the nearby Victoria Park.
"They even tried to board up the hoose while we wur awa oan oor Winter Holidays! But they forgot aboot the holes in the dividin fire wa'. The baisterts wul huv ti try herder!" said Mrs. Strelle in a series of high-pitched squeaks.
Falkirk Council and the local Elected Member were unavailable for comment.


Enoch Squirrel said...

Get rid of the lot of them - they come over here and you can't understand a bloody word they're saying.

futin det said...

Then again, you've probly got mair chance i gettin rent oot i the bats thin some i the work shy bastarts thit would otherwise get the hoose.