Saturday, January 12, 2008

M&S Bombshell: Take That Drapped


Sparky said...

Hallo rerr!!

Wee Gowser ye huvny chainged a bit! Spotted sum familiar faces oan the BOOBS site but am pish wi names. Ah think av goat juvenile dementia (too young for senile dementia) n leaving the toon in 1988 widny help either. Last saw you aboot ten years ago in Tesco near the train station.

Say hi to awbdy fur me.

Sparky Malarky

Carrier said...

Awright Liam?
If you look thru the "Aulder Stuff" you will see you get a mention here n thair.
Ah even namecheckt ye in ma 40th barfday speech.
Yir name lives long in the herts n minds i us Bo'nessers.
Whit u up ti?

Sparky said...

Fuckn magic!!

I spotted ma moment o fame in the comment aboot the plasticine incident. Thank fuck naebdy mentioned me peeing ma breeks in Primary 2 in St. Mary's!! What a puddle that wis fi such a wee guy!

In Edinburgh for a bit till I go back wi the Int Corps in London so makin the most of it.

Thanks for the mention in yer 40th speech :-) fair makes the hert gled.

Aye ye can take the laddie ooti Bo'Ness but ye canny take Bo'Ness oot o the laddie!!

Am really chuffed that yooz huv done a website - really proud o yiz in fact. That daft bugger Mr. Hyde will be turning in his grave!!

Am sittin in ma sister Helen's the noo wi a big bottle o nearly empty vodka, ma laptop buzzin away n blastin oot aw ma Dean Martin favorites :-D

Say hi fi me to aw them that wis in the remedial class - even though they micht no admit they were in it.

For example Ronnie Orr, Tracy Sneddon n Nigel McGin-Goose (ye ken whae a mean!!)


sparky said...

Me again!!

Went back to yer site's aulder stuff - hilarious!!

Well done. The best site I've seen on the web since the 2002 Thai fanny ping pong competition (won by a trannie fi Grangemooth apparently)

Belated Happy Birthday!!

Ye huvny chainged a bit (baistart)- mustv been aw thae times ye plugged skool at St. Mongol's tae go tae the Camelon Bar. That pub wiz far too near the "Rechem" - yon incineration place that chainged the coo's skin colour.

How come it wiz aywis ORANGE!!??

Laffed at the foties fi up the golfie n when I read WWII bomber ah got goosebumps ya bugger!!

Keep up the gid work :-D

sparky said...


Latin fur "my bad"

This is a huge message so make a cuppa before you read it!!

Okay, okay!! AM SORRY!! Am oan leave, a huvny seen yooz cunts fur years n huv far too much time oan ma hands....

Its no ma fault...

No!! Really its no!!

Ma sister Helen widny let yon munter ah picked up last week intae her hoose.

Her guide dug, a golden lab (if thats no discrimi.. discrimu.. dissing a mutt! Ah dunno whit is) hud a lovely nature (took it aw ways), n its name wiz "Larsson"!!

Sorry I digress, fond memories you know... at tea time I used to shout chum.. I wish the dugg ran as fast as she did.

Ahem, moving oan..

Great stuff oan yer web site. Huvny peed ma pants so much since yon suicide bomber asked me fur a light in Carriden!!!

Bein in the Int Corps I huv access to certain sites, oh yes.

A dinny want tae brag BUT, a bocht a teddy bear fi one site in Baghdad for £10, I renamed it Mohammed (peace be upon him) n selt it oan ebay for £30 - now thats what I call a profit!!!

Ah pit a comment oan the Miami Vice fair day fotie - check it oot!

Av goat loads o auld first communion foties fi oor class, wi Father Phelan (odd name for a priest that didny feel naebdy up - have any o ye seen the film Magdalene Sisters? Funny as!!)

Oanyways... Awbdy that wants a copy o the group/class communion foty (it kept ma bairns away fi the fireplace for years) can have one free if they access Armynet/Bo'Ness/Bawbag/Ya Bass :-D

We use said foty to interro.. sorrry - interview - refugees who've fled the dodgy oil state of america, ahem sorry - Iraq :-D

Ma faither Gus(R.I.P.),whae wurkd (drank) in Libya for many years taught oor famely a foreign language which we eventually learned was called English. This was a shock as we were brocht up speakn Boanyuks.

Glyn Jones' Latin class wis piss easy but the book "Ecce Homo" hud me in stitches!! Whit a title fur a book. Its like yon gay cowboy film wi the name "Dungpack Mountain"!! Latin is ok if ye wanted to be a lawyer (loadsa joabs!!) or a priest - but who in oor class looked like fuckn Bing Crosby!!??

I also grew up speakn arabic. Although "Agebra" is an arabic word, de ye think it helpt in maffs?? Did it fuck!!

Onyways gotta go.. need a refill o vodka before I huv tae go tae the mosque (thank fuck we roll up the prayer mats.. am in nae state tae try n fold them!! Didny get ma black belt in Origami!!)


Quice Quice khattir!! Stanishwaye!! Fi' aman Allah!!

This translates roughly as "The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost not forgetting Derek Acorah!!"

Ma URL (can that be treated very quickly n quietly at Drummonds the Chemists before it hits the blog??) is but can sum cunt tell me whits an email??!!

Answers oan the back o a pound note to Comical Ali at the Baghdad bar "The Noose"

Ma next message might be fi the Sands.. thats the Rat Pack's hotel in L.A., no fkn Iwo Jima, I mite win the lottery, here's hoping :-D