Sunday, December 13, 2009

An Extract From Carrier's Health & Safety Executive Seasonal Guide For The Singing Of 'Festive Songs' - Nº 3 While Shepherds Watched

While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around

The union of Shepherds has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.

1 comment:

Carrier said...

The key issue here, yince again missed, is that of night-time working.

Many of the attendant hazards could be removed by carrying oot these ovine tasks in daylight.

Sitting on the cauld, dew-laden pasture would present the shepherds erses wi less of a haemorrhoid risk (ah should ken tae).

Glare wid be eliminated.

Night workers must also undergo a yearly occupational health medical to ensure they are fit ti work, thus increasing the financial outlay ti the awready cash-strapped farming community.