Sunday, June 20, 2010

BREKKIN: Close Shave for Bo'ness Fair Hoose Frontage Builder

A Bo'ness man wis near killt yesterdiy whilst attemptin ti pit the finishin touches ti a volcano oan Peter Pan's island.

The lucky resident wis workin it height, aff a paint tin, withoot the proper harness n safety platform. Amazingly nae written method statement, safe system i work or risk assessment hud been carried oot either.
To further compound the dangerous situation it wis later funt thit the unnamed local resident hud nae insurance fur working it height, although he wis idemnified against scalpel nicks n occasional occupational athlete's fit exposure.

One eye-witness, wha disny wanted broacht inty this, later said, "This wis a disaster waitin ti happen. The same boay is runnin aboot wi a jigsaw anaw. Ah felt it wis ma duty ti whistleblaw ti the BOOB n ithir media outlets is they pey gid money fur these kinny hings."


Anonymous said...

Aye in sumbdy turned a cloud intae a coak n baws.

futin det said...

Seeminly, the exceptionaly handsome (and in no way going bald on top) person in question, was in fact standing on a perspex drum and if you look really closely you might also make out the ultra thin wire harness he was wearing.
PC/Health and safety gone mad I tell you !

Pleased to say the "coak n baws" are very much part of the finished article.