Regular Public Information Message

Welcome ti the BOOB new members n visitors! You have stumbled upon Scotland's Number Yin men's mid-life crisis website aboot Bo'ness.
This site is an idiosyncratic synergistic pile i pish written in the traditional 'tongue' i Bo'ness.
Please feel free ti poast comments below each poast as they are usually funnier thin anyhing we write. Also- check oot the aulder stuff doon there oan the right haund side. This site hus been oan the go fur ages. This time last year fur instance we wur celebratin, rejoicin, becoming sensitised n gittn ready fur halloween.
Generally evirying goes bit, is Tricky says below, jist watch whit yir sayin if ye dinny want ti end up is Mr.Big's bitch in the Bar-L. Nae Old firm or Porn neither, unless in links marked NSFW, bit we welcum tasteful female nudity, as demonstrated adjacent.
Nae Lorne's Nads either.

Ahd Like to Take This Opportunity To Apologise

As you may ken, Blogging has hit the courts with Sheffield Wednesday fans web site owlstalk.co.uk telt by the high court to reveal details of posters who allegedly defamed the club's chief executive and five directors.
Bill Thompson on the Beeb news pages says:
"Three Sheffield Wednesday supporters who posted anonymous abusive comments on the "Owlstalk" website will be staring into their cornflakes this morning as they wonder whether they will soon be receiving a libel writ in the post. "
However the judge refused to order the unmasking of fans who were “merely abusive”. Phew! That's 99% of the shit here covered.
So, pelters allowed, nae defamation, or Carrier may get a chap at the door from HM's finest, to ask whar that laddie Mowgli bides.

Blast fi the Past - Davie C

Bumpt inty Davie C in Tescos oan Friday.
Despite rumours ti the contrary he is very much alive n still freelancin in the Film Industry. He hud jist popped inty by some scran between takes.
Still keeps in touch wi Fudge - mind i him anaw?
Send in yir email addresses ti enable nostalgic jocularity.

Trick or Treat

Still goat a stinker I a sair heid. Chambers boy's enjoy quiet halloween pairty.

Emotional Moments in Movie History No.1

N.B. Watch the clip all the way through.

Even in New York

While looking through photos from my trip to New York I noticed that even in the cultural capital of the USA they have fannies standing on boxes painted in silver being "statues".

BOOBs Gittn Bigger

Couple i new members the nicht, squeezin in thir applications jist afore the end i BST.
Welcum ti Flash fi Oz who is askn fur yees aw - he is lyin oan the beach the noo wi Maria n the weans n a can i Castlemaine 4X.
Also regular visitation rights hus enabled Loopy in oan the action. Loopy is Kev the Snowman's yinger brithir.
Welcome ti the BOOB boays, lookn foarward ti yir collective satirical geniuses.

La Dolce Vita (Uno)

BOOB gives the Two Thumbs Up

Is yees probably ken, 'Grindhouse' consists i twa movies - Tarantino's Deathproof n Rodriguez'z Planet Terror.
Ah've seen thum baith - Deathproof is awricht, bit Planet Terror is fkn magic - the best film ah huv see in a lang time.
Nivir seen a film wi si much blood n snoatirs.
Tre-men-dis.
Go see.

Tricky's Travels #12

Down to Pompey to Corpulent HQ, where I noted the Hampshire polis campaign using bus adverts. They probably should have taken into account the position of the exhaust pipe

Missionary Position.

After much soul searching I have decided to accept a teaching post in Bo'ness, I hope my missionary work will help to bring civilisation and some culture to the natives, who knows, by the Fair some might be eating with cutlery.

At last I remembered.

Sorry for being away so long. I'm not dead.

Talkin Heads, Talkin Sense

Yin i the simple pleesures fur any BOOB boarn within the sound i the Foondry Hoarn is a visit ti the auld manor, G-pans ti catch up wi the gossip.

N whit better place ti dae that thin a trip ti Bo'ness' favourite hairdressers Talking Heads, Dower House, G-pans (01506 826219) where a Gentleman's Wash, Cut & Blow-dry will cost u a paltry £8 (a tenner really cos ur eiweys expectit ti leave a tip or YOU become the subject i the conversation fur bein a "mooly-pig"). Clipper Guard 2 is particularly recommended.

Anyweiys regular BOOB visitors Christa, Barbara-Ann n Emma wur telln me thit:

1. Thur's a Polish Waddn oan i Bridgeness Club the nicht.
2. A couple fi Bo'ness are due ti appear oan 'Wife Swap'.

Beat that Lithgi!

Congratulations ti Ricky H

BOOB stalwart n former Bananarama stalker Ricky H goat hitched it the weekend BOOB HQ understaunds fi a reliable source.
Aw the best big man fi the BOOB!!

PS - We r waitin fur ye ti poast some foaties

Rockn Bo'ness - Story About The Boy

"Simple, Soulful, Scottish heart and soul, stand up and be proud, Story About The Boy ur a class above" according to the music press includin the NME, this band is worth the watchin.
N any band wi a bass player wha's BOOB brithir aftin likes dressn up is a snowman fur kicks, canny be bad.

Check oot Story About The Boy website here. Looks like they've awready attractin the groupies bithelooksyitae.

Catch thum oan 4th Nov 2007 20:00 it the Jamhoose, Embra.

"Cock"

Extras! Extras! Read all about it! Christmas special teaser!

Professor F****n Fumble !

Had a strange dream last night. Part of which involved that late sixties/early seventies cartoon, Marine Boy. (don't ask)

For some reason I was ridiculed because I couldn't remember the name of the professor. However this site has everthing you would ever want to know about the series

http://www.thechestnut.com/marine.htm

For a trully bizarre experience, listen to the end credit music. I sounds like something a flute band would play in the cross-keys.

Mair Russians Pittn Oan a Plate fur Yees

BOOB HQ hus received this oaffir in oor Inboax:

To you writes agency .
The lonely girl wishes to get acquainted with interesting by the man for serious relations...

Contact the girl can to write on this e-mail: natulia777@gmail.com

See a structure you can to pass under this link http://singleopenhearts.com/member/profile.asp username Rusalochka
In our letter is enclosed by a photo of our client...

Nae strings attached - aw ye hae ti dae is send some money ower fur her n her brithirs ti catch the flight ti Embra.

Any takers?

Takes yi Back.

Wis it wee Macfuds 40th it the Lithgae Rose club oan Friday nicht, a guid nicht wis hud by awe. Wee Stu hud an easy joab fir his fancy dress outfit, he jist raidit Carriers wardrope.

Happy 40th Big Felly

40 years the morra since yon Sasquatch wis filmed up Kinneil Wids.

Fair Fart Foaty - the Whole Shocking Truth

Tonight, BOOB hus managed ti git it's hauns oan the original version i the foaty si cruelly foatyshoapped a couple i poasts ago. Is usual, the bigger picture tells the ful story.
There wis eiweys oanly twa suspects - yin wi a belly ful i lentils n chickpeas, the ithir wi a colon ful i occupationally acquired C. difficile.
Oh aye - n the photographer canny be discountit, yasein that auld Bo'ness adage - "He wha smelt it dealt it".

Trash Can

Here's one for the G-Panz BOOBs, a piece of Carrier's own artwork from about 1981. I discovered this in a bundle of papers while searching for something else. Unfortunately, the script has disappeared and all I'm left with is the dramatis personae. (As usual, real names have been blocked, but you can probably guess who they are.)

Am no awa ti bide awa

Sorry for the lack of poasts recently.
Am researchin ma family tree n am currently sumwhaur in the 1700s.
So far have traced ma 5x Great Grandfaithir wha's faimily wis the Merovingians n bided in Roslyn or sumplace.
Keep ye poastit.

Are You Knackered, Man? No, I'm Jan Akkerman.

Here is a bit of 1970s lunacy from Dutch prog-rockers Focus.

Over the flints sick as a Bart

Our neighbours have not faired so well. They maybe at home to a fancied Irvine Meadow, surely a tie that they would have rather avoided.

Bo'ness at home to Dufftown

2nd round of junior cup sees Bo'ness at home to Dufftown.

The Night in Kinneil Bowling Club ....

... when I popped in for a pint, there was a sign up saying there was a private party on in the lounge, fancy dress, theme was evil characters from Lord of the Rings. I looked ben and there were lots of people dressed as Orcs, Saruman, Sauron, Nasguls, the lot, all up dancing to a Sophie Ellis-Bextor song.

it was Mordor on the Dancefloor.

Simple website evokes childhood memories of G-pans

Quick! Pull ma finghur!

Message fi reader Robert Allen Zimmerman

Music fur the Bedroom

The beat oan this track fi Dave Gahan oot i Depeche Mode is bangin.
Jist a few vinegar strokes shoart i ful ramming speed.

Trick or Treat.

Halloween's jist roond the coarner and comin up wi new ideas is a killer, until a saw this beauty. We wid make a fortune goan roond the doors wi this yin.

Memories.

Saw this and thoat of Big Jean in Benedorm efter he goat jumped wi burds fae Madchester.

Animals Revolt

Local Vegan Joins Anti-Fur Campaign

Popular principled Punjabi/Poartibelly-based vegan Yan has joined the long list i celebrities strippin aff thir klaze ti protest it the continuin yase i cuddly rabbits ti make coats fur the rich n famous.

Mair examples here.

The World's Maist Annoyin Cloack

Is here.

Time fur bed.

Brekkin News: Miracle ootside auld Wevlings, oan North Street/South Street Coarnir, whaur the alkies yased ti hing aboot afore the Cooncil did it up

The iconic image i Geets hus appeared again, this time oan a Scotch pancake bocht oot i Hoarn's the Bakers in Bo'ness.

Wid-be pilgrims wul be disappointit ti learn, howivir, thit the blessed bakery item wis selt oan settirdiy eftirnin ti an auld wummin, who later scofft it oan butter it the Bo'ness Bowling Club Ladies Social.

Bullet wi Butterflee Wings

Test your reflexes here.
Or take a cap ti yir heid.
Yin it the twa, it's your ain choice.

UPDATE: Link fixed. Pishy external websites ti blame.

RICKROLLED

See here.

You have now been Rickrolled.

The Night In Corvis ...

... the person that served me was dressed like Orlando Bloom as Legolas in Lord of the Rings.

When I got up the road, I said to Mrs Tricky, there's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's elvish

Nae Sates in the Star

The Star
Lithgi
Couple i Weeks ago

Faced wi the usual dilemma i naewhair ti pit the roond i drinks, Big Jean rips aff his shirt n soarts the problem oot in an instant.

Bo'ness Lego Creations

An occasional series showcasing the Lego talents i Bo'ness separated/divorced thirtysumhings wi time ti burn


No:239
Professor Stephen Hawking

Postal Strike - Bo'ness exclusive

This snapshot, taken earlier today, shows local left-wing firebrand activist, "Red" Cammy. Seen with his "war council" discussing the next stage of the ongoing postal strike.

Most probably it will end in tears, as families are ripped apart by split loyalties as brother fights against brother, whilst possibly culminating in a "Dirty Dozen" style lock-in at the sorting office.

Actually looks better thin the first yin.

take a look.

Da Spencer Code

Speakn i Ronnie Hazelhurst - did ye ken his theme tunes hud hidden codes in thum?
Like this yin - Some Mither's Dae Huv' Em.
Sing it ti yirsel - it's in morse code.

Nixt Week: "Last i the Summer Wine", n its secret Merovingian bloodline references

Look Who's 40, etc...

Happy 40th birthday to Yan, somewhere in the Indian subcontinent.

Unseen Princess Diana Crash Foaties

In a disgraceful and cynical attempt ti bring in thoosints i visitors ti thir websites bi exploitin the zeitgeist, the media huv awready startit poastin previously unseen foaties fi the Princess Diana Inquest, like the image shown richt, tain minutes before the fateful crash in which Dodi n Di Died, Or Didthey?

We it the BOOB like ti remember oor Queen i Herts when she visited the steam railway in Bo'ness yon time n want nae pairt in this media circus.

Mair foaties here.

Chucky Uncaged

Did he jist wink thair?

He's goony eat YOUR liver wi onions n some alfalfa beans when he gits oot tae.
Wi a nice chianti.

Could be the nicht.

Loak yir doors.

Mair spooky Bo'ness Toon foaties here......
(incl. yin i Rian's Afe)

Not So Sags' New Dream Machine

Ah passed Not So's hoose the nicht oan the dean road n noticit he hud a new company car in the driveway.
Made fi Post-It Notes, of course.

So Farewell Then......

......Ronnie Hazelhurst.

Man i miny theme tunes.


Bit no this yin.

Three Word Book Reviews

Whit's oan your bedside table fur readin? N gie it a three word review in the comments below.

Lorne - Fiesta n Halliwell's Movie Guide dinny count.

Riddle in the Dark

Nightvision wul find ye.

Wee treat fur Thirtysumhing readers

Yin i they thoosint 80s video hingwimajigs HERE.
Enjoy.
Whit's yir favourite?