Hud a wee visit fae Mr Studmuffin himsel, twaw mairriages doon the swanie in he's still oan the lookoot fir wife no.3. He's gonnae try in git back up fur oor nixt night oot, so a telt um probably October u'll be the nixt yin. He's gonnae try in make it up fir the Fair.
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His richt airm seems mair 'developed' thin normal...
Only kiddn - lookn 4wrd tae seein the Big Bus again. Loak up yir dochters, n yir cizzin's sisters lassies!
Anithir hing Lorne - tell Shaz ti stoap dryin her knickers oan the radiator - bad fur coandinsaition that.
No lost any i his boyish good looks then?
That's Greegs thong dryin efter pishin himsel laughin it big jeans new burds name.
So whit is it then?
luv tae tell yi bit it's a secret, yill hae tae guess.
Wid it no be funny if it rhymed wis his name like, say, Maori Lourie?
Ha! ha! That wid be a laff, however, the chances i that happn are yin in a million.
He's no gaun oot wi big bad John Hartsons wife is he? Thur'll no be much room in that hoose when he goes ti pick his bairns up n the bus is thair.
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