Britain's Most Un-PC Shop

"Let's see what stock we have. Hmm: Gollywogs, Nazi daggers, pre-pubescent-looking fairies, Chinamen salt and pepper pots - I'm onto a winner with these."

[Note: I took this photograph a few months ago - the shop is now out-of-business.]

Whit a Weekend Min

The Fair Day, the miny BOOB weans in the Fair, meetn aw yir auld pals, ma Granny 90 years auld, Ketal settn up a foaty opporchanity wi Keith Jack fur ma dochter, Euro Final, n ti cap it aff, sweet love fi yir gid lady.
It disnae git much better boays.
N Glasto anaw.
Keeps gittn better.

Fair Vids

(courtesy 21st Century Mowgs Productions)
Watch/Listen oot fur the BOOBs

Belatit Happy Fair Day ti aw BOOBs, Bo'nessians n Bo'ness Diaspora

Hope u hud a gid yin!

Alabamy 3

Congrats ti Snash fur takn third prize in the Sma Hoose frontage section!

In aw th ebest ti Futin Det fur his contributions ti Tommy Timms' First Prize in the 'Large' section.

"This beer tastes awffy funny"

Local Bo'nessian discovers why there wasn't a lot of drunkeness at the Richmond Park this year.

Fair Phoaties

Happy 90th Birthday Granny Rooney

Jist a wee mention ti ma Granny Joan Rooney who is 90 years young oan the Fair Day.

Happy Birthday Gran!

Interesting fact: Ma gran is related ti Rabbie Burns.

Snash Airch a Lon Chaney Magnet

In the toon i Bo'ness it is traditional ti walk aroond the airches oan the Fair E'en - still wi us? - wearin yir Fair e'en klaze, smert bit casual attire, bit no quite is gid is yir Fair Klaze thit are washed n pressed n hinging up ready fur the Moarins Moarnin.

These braw WAGs are wearin Primark - the moarin, Matt Allan.

Fair Een Fever Foaty Special

Snash's Alabamy Express ready ti leave the platform

Tommy Timms also goes fur the train theme wi authentic smokin biler anaw

Futin Det fulfils a boyhood dream i workin oan the railway

Revie T pits the icin oan the cake celebratin the 100th Bo'ness Fair Queen

Binnz'z Rebel Encampment wins the Prize fur best Tumchie Field Scheme House Frontage

Mair foaties the moarin.

Well done ti evirybidy involved fi the BOOB.

(Visitors, Daily Mail Readers, etc - these foaties are REAL)

Welcome Bo'ness Fair Week Visitors

Undoubtedly in error you huv landit in the Boys of Old Bo'ness webshite, Scotland's Number Yin Mid-life crisis blog aboot Bo'ness written bi the hardest baistarts oot i 1980s G-pans, G-dyke, Mairchlinds, Baptie Place n Ewart Grove (back i the telephone exchinge).
Anyweys u r maist welcome.
Feel free ti leave us sum comments aboot yir experience. the comments are the funniest hing aboot this site n that's no sayn much.
Please browse thru oor aulder stuff doon thair oan the richt haun side is we are runnin oot i ideas.
Why no drap us an email, esp. if u r a Russian female, wi foaties if possible.
We esp want ti here fi Nigerians wha are lookin fur a cash deposit, is we r suited n booted wi cash ti burn.
Aw the best fi the BOOB!

Web Brekkin: Bo'ness You've Been Framed website

New website Bo'ness You've been framed up & runnin.

Some familiar faces here.

Watch this site grow & grow eftir the Fair Day videos start rollin in.

GIRUY

No jist content wi denyin his regular customers thir favourite ciabatty roals on sossage this Friday, Lorne jist canny resist twistn the knife in that wee bit further.

Nice yin serr!!

Not So Sags aff ti Czech oot Prague

Green wi envy BOOBs wish Not So Sags a safe & pleasurable journey ti Eastern Europe's sex capital Prague the moarin fur his wee brerr Shaggy's stag do.

Alang wi a few ithir aulder yins, Not So is in fact leavn a day early to make sure he takes in..ahem.. a few i the cultural sites in toon afore the bevvyin.

Perhaps he will visit a museum or dae sum windae shoppn fur example.

BOOB HQ is hopn ti git a few foaties i the trip up here fur scientific analysis.

Brekkin: New No:1 Bo'ness Fair Website noo No:2 again

Whilst enjoyn the increast traffic fur a hale YIN day, we are pleased ti announce thit peace hus broken oot and the Fair Website is back online.

That's Bo'ness fur yees - we faw oot bit we EIWEYS faw back in again.

New No:1 Bo'ness website about the Bo'ness Fair online

Fair arches are still up.

Visitors - find your arch locations here!!!

And welcome ti the new No:1 Bo'ness website about the Bo'ness Fair.

Mair Brekkin News

Looks like the "official " Fair website has just died.

http://www.thefairday.com/

Snash Airch Ful Steam Aheid

Alabamy Express wul be arrivn any day noo yee-hah.

Note how thir oanly appears ti be yin boay graftin in these pics.

Not So Sags 40 Today

Happy 40th Birthdiy auld yin fi the BOOBers.

Mini-Hulk fi Ghi-pans, Iraq

http://view.break.com/523005 - Watch more free videos
Leave ma scoor-oot alaine Mo-Fos.

Speshel Request: Old Skill TTF

Wee Gill hus requestit sum TTF or u ken whit.
Nixt time ye see her (Fair Day) ask her aboot the time she endit up it a pairty it Mary Kiani's hoose yin nicht...

New Bo'ness Fair Advert

Brekkin: Mairches Washoot = £££

Torrential downpours may have severely affected today's Lithgi Mairches celebrations but it failed to dampen the spirits i yin lucky Lithgi Bistro owner - his profits came floodin in.
"Sodden Black Bitches were scramblin ower thumselves ti git a sate oot i the pishn rain", said an emotionallly drained Lorne Sossage. "Bit we wur ready fur thum - ma Maw hud made plenty extra stovies".
But there wis some anger fi regular customers as to the sharp increases in prices oan the day. When asked aboot this a defiant Mr. Sossage retortit, "Hey - if they Gairiges kin day it so kin ah. Pittn a roal oan egg up ti £1.99 wis in response ti increast demand, no a cynical attempt ti cash in oan the situation".
Mr. Lorne also reacted angrily ti rumours gaun aboot Bo'ness thit he is tryin ti git nixt year's Bo'ness Fair Procession route chinged fi Grahmsdyke Road ti roond bi Champany and along Lithgi High Street.

Hey! What about me at the back?

This video's been doing the rounds of every other blog and website so we might as well have it.

Geets is on Twitter

And apparently he's " off to commence bumdum in europe...."

No i'm not making this up
See Here :

http://twitter.com/geets

"...that's except for viewers in Scotland"

Classic Armando Ianucci.

Famous Bo'ness Authors

Over 30s Fairs Cup 2008

Wis this the greatest goal ivir scored?

Bo'ness United v Baillieston
Ibrox 1984
Scottish Junior Cup Final
Lexie Shields brings the cup hame.

ps - Aw the best ti visitors fi the Tartan Army Message Board

Broon Saves the Day

Over 30s Fair Cup. More pictures to come.

UPDATE: Finally worked out how to piece together clips. Apologies for the Scotsport-style camerawork.

Molly Weir wul be turning in her grave

I'll admit it, the nats git oan ma goat but mowgli's link has really annoyed me, nobody I know really talks like that. Your tax has paid fur that wabsite.

What the fks a "wabsite"?

If you want a laugh, try logging onto the Scottish Parliament's "Scots language" website. It's like the government's been taken over by the Broons and Oor Wullie.

R.I.P. Bo Dudley

Just heard the news that coloured jazz singer Bo Dudley has died. Here's a clip of him singing 'Mama's got a brand new bag' in a 1960s TV show.