Been oan ma travels again.

Didnae see Yan there. Only see him when it's anither blue and white team?

Where's Wally?

Most of my best stuff was edited out. Damn BBC.

Soap oan the BOOBs

Corrie
This Friday: When Jason finds out about the confrontation between David and Tina (above) he marches out planning to teach David a lesson.

Next Week: Hollyoaks

Hey! It's Her From Kenickie!

'The Edinburgh Festival Show' was filming while I was hanging around to see Lucy Porter and if you watch her interviewing Richard Herring (Wednesday, I think), you might see me lurking in the background.

Mowgli Enjoying A Day At The Festival

Welcum ti The Famous Boys of Old Bo'ness

Whilst lookin fur videos i the Anderson's Fire , or simply websites full i wummins boobs, you have inadvertantly stumbled upoan Scotland's Number Yin Mid-Life Crisis cry fur help website fur hairy-ersed gezzers fi Bo'ness in thir mid-thirties.

Furget aboot the economic doonturn, Swine Flu n oor pishy fitba team's performance last nicht.
Sit back, crack open a Charger n git fired inty the mirth n merriment the gid auld fashiont Bo'ness wey. Fi Ramallah ti the Ridbrae, fi Jerusalem ti Jessfield Place we are oan the case.

Remember, foaties like the yin abin kin be clicked ti enlarge, jist right fur colour printin n laminatin.
Huv a look it the comments n feel free ti make yir ain. They are the funniest bit aboot the whole hing min.
Check oot oor aulder stuff anaw doon thair oan the richt haun side, we huv been in business since oor late twinties, ah ken, we kin hardly believe i oorselfs.

Mind n bookmark us anaw ti keep abreest i the latest fi the toon.

Reflections i China

Ma nephew hus jist returnt fi China wi the Academy Skill trip (chinged days - we yased t git ti the Beecraigs if we wur lucky). Anyweys he us sent me sum foaties he took i the various eating establishments he visited.

A gid range i world cuisine thair. They yung yins - dinny ken how lucky they are.

♫♫ Oh Danny Boy ♫♫

Celebrated Gibson's Heid Windycleaner/Payment Enforcement Officer Danny McCoist enjoys anithir pre-season freendly wi a cool refeshin' boatil i Magners, plenty ice, in a pint tumbler.

(Contributors: His drinkin' buddies)

Is This Racist? I'm Confused.

Graffiti near Bristo Square.

Brekkin: Massive Fire it Anderson's

Jamesie & Ithir Drivers Miraculous Escape

A massive fire hus ripped thru the pallet storage area i Anderson's yaird this moarnin.
Hunners i Fire Brigade wur in attendance in the fire wis soon brocht under control it aboot a quarter past seevin.
Naebdy hurt.
Nuhin ti see here.
Move along.

See http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/8195899.stm fur mair action, courtesy regular BOOB visitor Chas Simpson.

Beer Drinking - A Warning

Disgusting!

This young woman was promoting her show on the High Street and, man, you should have seen all the perverts taking picutres of her. Click, click, click. Even from behind! Some people, eh?

RIP John Hughes

Three Word Fringe Reviews

No: 417
Paul Zerdin Spongefest
Underbelly

Gottle i Geer

*****

Fringe Comedy

No: 234
Assembly Hall

Yon John Knox - whit a barrel i laffs he wis.

A Night at the Flicks

It the insistance i Mrs Lorne we visited the re-opened Hippodrome the ithir nicht ti see yon Harry Poattir, Billy's laddie, n sum Half Blood Prince.

A pleasant wee surprise wis the ability ti git a roond in afore the trailers. Here we see Lorne doonin a pint i "Hippodrome" Pale Ale, efficiently served wi a smile bi the lassie Sneddon thit yased ti bide it Victoria Place.

Resident Film Critic Mowgli wis there anaw, sittn in the bleendy seats near the front wi his Mysterious Anonymous Wummin (MAW).

Unless u r right inty Poattir books, the film wis erse-numbingly borin, wi Lorne fawin asleep eftir the first reel.

Mair interstin wis the revamped Hippodrome itself. Crackin min. And it £5 a sate, £3.75 fur the bairns, git yersel doon thair min fur a gid night insteed i gaun up ti Fawkirt.

All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Yasser Arafat's Tomb

The fat wan fae Bo'ness at Arafat's Tomb in

Ramallah in the West bank. Fook it's hot 39 degrees am sweating like a wummin waiting oan her store dividend piy oot.

Brekkin: BOOBs oan Twitter

In a major development in the field i social networking, the BOOB hus tonite succumbed ti peer pressure n joined Twitter.
Ye kin foaly us it http://twitter.com/BoysofOldBoness ti discretely keep up wi the gen fi yir work PC, laptop or moby, thus avoidin the difficult situation i Lorne's hirsute boady appearin ti the aw n sundry.
Mind n keep cumn back here fur the foaties tho, ay?

Happy 40th Ainslie!

Evirybidy in Bo'ness kens wee Ainslie Hamilton n, kin u believe it, he hus jist turned 40! Although the lucky laddie goat a lot i presents it his pairty it Bridgeness Club last Friday, we thoacht we wid surprise him anaw. Ainslie is a big fan i this Hoat Choacalit number, n we ken he wid go ti any lengths ti git his hands oan a copy.

Welcome Back ti the BOOB

A big welcum back ti evirbidy eftir thir Summer Hoalidays. Remember n tune in fur the latest, brekkin news fi Bo'ness. All the action is it happens. Feel free ti leave us some comments anaw, esp. if u are a former Jannie fi any i the primary skills. U kin email us anaw, doon thair oan the sidebar, or simply lie back n enjoy the ride. Mind n check oot the aulder stuff doon thair oan the right is weel.
Aw the best fi the Boys of Old Bo'ness.

Herbie Goes Bananas in Gpans

Herbie, the anthropomorphic Volkswagen Beetle, thit featured in several Walt Disney motion pictures starting with the 1969 film The Love Bug wis in G-pans last nicht, parked oan the main road it the fit i Park Lane.
We shit u not.

In Udder News

Twa coos huv escaped the Fairmer's Field n are causing traffic chaos oot side Belgica oan the Grangemooth Road.
In a related joke, the coos are baith Fresian.

Global Warming - How it affects Bo'ness

No: 284
Depletion of North Sea Broon Fish Stocks

This is a scene so typical i Bo'ness oan a Settirdiy night noo. Queues quickly form ootside Corvi's when the word oan the streets is thit Bert hus sumhow laid hees haunds oan a boax i Broon Fish fi the Fish Mairkit.

Spotter: Ketal

Where's Lornes hat noo?

No. 530 Tuscany
At the birthplace of sum felli cawd mikeyandilaw.

You can keep yir hat oan.

Fir ma nixt trick........nae haunds.

Wha wis the best Jannie yi hud it yer skull?

A granger favourite fir sum i us yougir boy's thit went ti the Grange! A also remimber Dan Bennie wha wis a guid yin anaw.

Volunteers

They boy's wirked hard thit day. First time fir everyhing.

Match

"There's Sumbdy fur Evirybidy"

Keekin Oot

Ye'd hink they WAGs wid be able ti git a bikini thit fits wi the money they fitba' players are oan?
Ken this?

Bo'ness Fair - The Unsung Heroes

The BOOB thocht it wis time ti pey tribute ti this team i unsung heroes - The Toon Flag Flying Squad.

Led by Supervisor Butts Ford n Chairgehand Heggie, this band i dedicated professionals, by their single-mindit determination and skilled use i a hired cherry-picker (in line wi the Working it Heights Regulations), manage eviry year ti hing the Bo'ness Fair Procession route flags in the Toon n beyond, singul-handedly bringin joy ti the herts i bairns n adults in Bo'ness n thruoot the world.




Gentlemin - Bo'ness Salutes Yees!

(Foaties lifted wi permission fi S1 Bo'ness. Hunners mair thair anaw)

Postcode Lottery - Photos Jist In

BOOB HQ huv jist received foaties i Sunday's Postcode Lottery Summer Belter fi oor roving junior photographer Callum Timms.

Miss Scotland hud a great time in Bo'ness - aw lassies usually dae.

In ithir news, some Bo'ness folk won a few boab.

Jerusalem or Bust!

Bumped in tae a few o' yis at the fair, Ants suggested that I let yis ken that am away tae Jerusalem oan the 23rd to work in a Palestinian Refugee Camp fur a bit. Will keep yis aw posted wi reports from the camp. If any body wants to make a donation as I'll be taking some school equipment over pass it oan tae sam.

Up Close

Brekkin: BOOBs Triumph in Local Master Quiz

The BOOB team were victorious last night at the Ricky P Quiz, beating all-comers to the first prize i a boatil i whisky.
 The crucial deciding question wis "Whit wis the name i the BT mascot fi the 80s?".
Toafy.

Mollie Sugden 1922-2009

Master of the double entendre. Her pussy has now gone through the great cat-flap in the sky.

Where's Lorne's Fair Hat?

No:429
Florida State

Brekkin News: Lorne Allowed Oot

In a dramatic twist the night, Lorne hus sensationally been allowed oot ti the Ricky P Curry & Quiz night.
He hus jist txtd ti say he wul "be gittn drapped aff it 7".
This story is developing as we type, watch this space fur further updates.

Where's Lorne's Fair Hat? part deux

The Peel, Linlithgow Marches 2009. (Note "action slacks" waist on trousers. Ideal for ingestion of fried foods served at certain eating establishments in said town)

Spawny Bo'ness

Lucky baistarts in the West i Bo'ness huv won the 'Summer Belter' Postcode lottery accordin ti here.
Post code is EH51 0??.
The winners will share £1.5 Million.
All will be revealed on 5th July.

Update: Winning Postcode wis EH51 0DG, n yin luck Bo'nessian hud a lift i mair thin £150000.