Aw lit up

This blurry foaty, taken wi ma phone disny really dae the Queen's Airch justice.

It looks braw licht up at nicht, up there in Pow's Auld Tumchy Field Scheme.

Anither day, anither airch

A scene so typical i Bo'ness in the week before the Fair - yin person building an airch, n aboot ten 'helpers' lookn oan. This time up at Nash's.

Thankfully not so Sags wid turn up ti 'lighten' things up soon efter.

A wummin in a bikini fawin' thru clouds i bubbles

A wummin in a bikini fawin' thru clouds i bubbles.

It dis whit it says oan the tin.

If she gets stuck fling her aboot wi the moose.
(Feminists - view site b4 taking that the wrong wey).

Oh I say! - part 3

Kournikova again, this time lookn fur the remnants i her career.

ps - is embdy actually still watchn Wimbledon since Murray went oot?

Karaoke Nichts

A young-ish polo-necked Greegs, accompanied by a barely recognisable 14-yr old Shaz, belt out the classic hit from Grease, and karaoke favourite, "Your the one that want -ooh ooh ooh" at a mid-eighties Xmas fondue pairty in big Jean's hoose in Boarrastin.

Meanwhile, Millsy (32) looking a lot like a young Del Boy Trotter keeps the lid oan his jealousy by chain smoking roll-ups, whilst admiring his new 'Sov' ring, a forerunner of the modern chav jewellery we see today.

Greegs wid never forget his virtuoso performance, reminiscent of the Castrati Singers of Rome, so much so that many years later he wid buy the venue outright.

Yin fur the ladies

Resplendent in traditional Bo'ness dress, the lads tease aw the wummin by pulln their kilts up ti jist below bawhair level.

Gleaming

Auld Fair memories in this foaty, when the BU wis open and the three musketeers took full advantage ti wet their thrapples wi manys an imbibement, waiting fur the procession and, in particular, the Norwegian Skolekorps.

Am ma hard work well worth the effort

Queens Arch 2005

It's no finished yet but, in my opinion, it's not as garish and extravagant as some recent attempts. Whit de ye think?

Run aff ma feet min

Jist daein ma bit fur the fair, helpn ti build the Queens Airch 'n that the night.

Croosn across the Brig

Jist a wee snap ah took this efternin oan the Forth Road brig.

That's it.

Nuthin funny happnd.

Soon be Xmas

Am looking forward ti this yin during the festive period.

Reality Dawns

Ootside The Star, Lithgi,1989

God Squad member .................... (insert name here) 'celebrates' gaun oot wi Jean*/ Nash*/ Millsy*/ Binnz*/ Greegor* (*delete as applicable) again.

Goat Millsy Sussed

Fur those i ye struggln ti post foaties, the gid news is u dinny need ti use that wee baistart 'Hello' anymair!

U kin now upload thum directly fi Blogger. See here.

C'moan - this site needs aw yir foaties so get postn!!

Message for wid be Flamers

It has come ti ma attention that yin i the Boys wis called a c*** by a contributor called 'Anonymous'.

Rightly or wrongly - tw*t or f*nny wid huv been acceptable - this is oot i order.

Whit the perpetrator disny ken is that ma sophisticated admin software lets me ken exactly who this person wis!

So hav sum baws - leave ur name so the offended person gets a right ti reply, ay?

Winnits

Meenits efter being telt by the Polis ti come doon fi Jan's shooders whilst trying ti steal the sign saying "Bo'ness Town Centre" (ootside the flats whaur Calum used ti stey) wi a set i bolt cutters, a young Binnz guarantees a lift back hame in the Polis van ti explain things ti his Maw.

Best Before

Am away ti rake ma bucket efter readn this.

Does this count fir tennis?

this is one way of fixin yer strings.

Sentimental Auld Tunes

They don't make em like they used ti, ay?

Don't Let Me Down for example - a classic.

Summer is here!

And a jubilant Millsy is making the maist i the braw sunshine in this exclusive snap taken earlier this evening.

Meanwhile, just out of shot, the bairns wait impatiently fur a game i swingball.

Home Video

Once again Millsy takes his Star Wars fetish too far.....

This time inti the bedroom.

Wins by a nose

This has to be the funniest clip ever.

Anyone for Kornikova?

Does this count as tennis?

No when, no want, no worry

Whack your boss like the Sopranos.

Oh I say! part deux

I see your camel toe.....

Oh I say!

Dang!
That Sharapova kens how ti work a banany, ay?
First day it Wimbledon - see if u kin beat that foaty.
A gemme prize ti the best yin.

Cruise gets wet facial

Here's the video of Cruise gettn yin in the eye.

And it is fkn hilarious!

Conspiracy Theorist's Question: How did he get a towel so quick?

Fairs Cup 2005 - Result in

The Boys of Old Bo'ness were once again well represented in the recent Fairs Cup Over 30s football tournament.

Markybhoy and Ricky M helped eventual winners St. Mary's 'A' (pictured above) to their third triumph in 4 years. They were assisted by Haggerty, S., Temperley, H., Temperley, J., Patrick, A. and Roddy Frame out of Aztec Camera.

Final totting up is still ti be done but Tam Burns reckons the event, once again played in glorious sunshine, so typical of Bo'ness at this time of year, will have raised over £4000.

That should be enough ti buy extra diesel fur the lorries ti get up roond the Grange Skill this year.....but that's anither story, ay?

Dull Yin

like aw Bo'nessians, ah dae look forward ti the Shows it the Fair.

Yin a ma favourite rides wis the Chair-o-plane.

Eh...no noo.

Cafe del Mar

Am gettn in the mood fur ma hoalidays, so thot I wid post a snap I took this time last year sittn watchn the sun go doon in Ibiza wi wee Gill and aw the rest i the cheesy quavers.

Mind and share ur holiday foaties wi us here when u cum back. A prize fur the maist unusual location.

Like a brain surgeon performing a lobotomy wi a set i spanners

See the night? There's nuhing oan the telly.

So git urself and hur indoors away up ti the pictures ti see Sin City. Its fkn 10 oot i 10 min.

That wee hobbit boay oot i LOTR is in it - disny say a word - but disny huv ti. U'll ken whit a mean when ye see it.

Efterwards, let us ken whit u thoat aboot it.

Dukes i Hazzard

Here's yin fur Millsy who gave us a 'heids-up' fur the new Dukes movie a few weeks back.

Stick wi it ti the end - its worth it.

If u like seeing the General E Lee gettn washed that is.

Smashing

Nuhin as sublime as 'Tonight Tonight' or '1979' oan this, but fkn marvellous enyhow. Embdy listening ti any other gid tunes the noo?

Interesting project

Why not make a donation?

Whit are we gonny dae noo?

For those literati amongst ye, and ah ken there are a few, u may be interested to learn that this book is available for 99p if u buy the Times at WH Smith's aw this week.

Nivir a Penalty Ref!

So u hav finally joined us WeeGC?

Welcome ti the asylum, jist like aulden times. Lookn forward ti aw ur posts.

Feel free ti start postn any auld foaties. U will need to use the progam 'Hello' - click oan the symbol below - the rest should be straight foarword enuf. Its a bit i a pain in the neck but u will get yased ti it. U kin pit anyhing up as long as its goat klaze oan. Any nudity must be links only an marked - NSFW - not safe for wifes.

Links ti other sites are gid tae - they generate traffic back here ye see.
Mind and look thru the aulder stuff - some i the comments are funnier than the foaties.

And if ur brerrs want ti join, tell them to send me an email.

Have fun m8!

Chav Culture

The actual meenit DJ realises his new Motorola Razr isny as gid as Carrier's Nokia 7610.

Foaty Quiz

Embdy ken whit this is?

(Clue: it's found near Millsy's kidney).

True

There's nuthin I like better, efter a hard day it the oaffice, than ti pit ma feet up and get fired intae yin i these.

Jerry Springer Belarus

This is what we want ti see oan daytime TV. Watch oot fur the "bride" gettn rapids.

When Futin Det became Futin Mooth.

Sittin the bank today, happened tae come across Futin Det, the conversation went something like this,
"Yi goan oan seterday nicht" said Futin
"Aye, lookin foarwrd tae it" replyed Millsy
"Should be a gid nicht" retorted Futin
"wis wunderin whor we r meetin fir a drink" enquired Millsy
Uncomfertable silence................
" Yir goan tae the Richmond fir yir denner" said Futin nervously
"No me, were goan tae the dance it the toon hall. Kent nuhin aboot any meal" said Millsy.
"Oops" said Futin.
"Bastards" said me.
"Nae pals son" said the member of Staff from the bank.
"Obviously not" said Millsy.
Then left shame faced.

A wee Jack D in the Anchor

Cammy oot fur a pint the night wi Jack Doanaldson.

Fitba pundit Doanaldson wid later argue wi the ful pub that Scoatland were robbed i victory, insistant that we scored at some point, even tho' we didny. Did we?

Later, Cammy wid flex his full intellectual muscles filling in the barmaid's croassword puzzle book wi answers like architectural moulding - 'torus', french vineyard - 'cru' and cargo ship - 'scow'.

Air Con

Hoat oot thair the day in Central Scotland.

A gid joab thirs sumbdy reliable u kin turn ti.

First Foaty fi Sags & Plumb's Great Glen trek!!

Nae wonder we huvny heard fi them!!

Message fur WeeGC and his brerrs

Awright wee man? U will need ti become a member i the site ti be able ti post ur foaty memories.

Send me an email - ma name @blueyonder.co.uk - mind ah telt ye? Then ah'll send u an invitation ti join - thats how it works. The same applies ti ur brerrs if they are online - they qualify as hon. G-pansers and are maist welcome to start postin'.

Meanwhile see if u kin work oot wha' s wha fi the members list.

Mind and look thru the aulder stuff doon there oan the right hand side. Some gemme foaties i Tam awready posted.

Soon be time ti jet aff

Dinny take a windae seat tho!!!